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106 Back on Board, Flat Dave, K-Mart devotional

A very old friend of mine has a daughter named Sophia.  Probably about a year ago, she drew a picture of me and cut it out.  I kept it and thought I would be nice to do a flat Dave picture series.  What follows is Flat Dave’s day out in St Thomas

Flat Dave looks at T-Shirts

This is one of the many things you can buy close to the ship in St Thomas.  Crappy T-Shirts

Flat Dave thinks about buying a Rolex, and then thinks that maybe he would rather pay his mortgage off.

They sell A LOT of watches here.  All of the fancy pants kinds and I guess they are cheap, no tax and no import duty, so if you want a $20,000 watch what you save buying it here can pay for the cruise.

Flat Dave thinks about bringing his wife home something pretty. 

Tanzanite is the thing here, blue shiny bauble, probably a scam but what do I know about gem stones

Flat Dave eyes some duty-free liquor but knows that they won’t let him take it on the ship.

That is about it for St.  Thomas.  Someday I am going to get further from the ship than K-Mart where when I was looking for a stainless steel water bottle I heard a woman singing.  She worked there and to get her character right, you have to imaging a stereotypical Jamaican accent and then take all the aspects of that accent that make it unique and turn them up a bit, exaggerate it and make her sound, in your head, like someone trying to imitate an island accent but with no fondness or talent for it. 

As I was wondering around the aisles looking for a water bottle, I hear from the next aisle, “Oh great God thank you for this Friday, thank you for letting it be one day”– keep in mind, this was not being whispered.  Quite the contrary, I think she was actually trying to talk to God, and in her mind His omnipotence did not involve hearing. “One day closer to the Sabbath, one day closer to judgement day and one day closer to my day off.”  Day off was punctuated with volume just in case God missed the point.  She continued, “The day I don’t have to come to this crappy job.”  And then she started singing a spiritual and wandering aimlessly around the aisles which is when she ran into me. 

“Excuse me, may I ask you a question?”  I got the stink eye of the pious, don’t interrupt a devotional with earthly concerns. 

“I’m looking for a stainless steel water bottle?”  Then there was the uncomfortable silence complete with crossed arms and toe tapping.  Her response came clipped and sarcastic, “Did you try sporting goods?”  She sounded like she was talking to a child.

“Well, no I haven’t.”  I was standing in front of a wall of plastic water bottles and it seemed logical that this was the place for things of all sorts to put water in.  “Where is sporting goods?”

“Right next to the sign that says sporting goods man.”  She pointed.  Before I had the chance to say thanks and head that way, she sighed loudly and told me to follow her.  I found what I wanted and then she started walking away continuing her hymn presumably right where I interpreted her.


November 13, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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