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24 morning sex?

People come and go on ships.  It is part of the culture.  The girl who was in the room next door to me, we will call her D was very nice and particularly beautiful.  She was the future cruise sales person, so most of the day she was stuck behind a desk luring people to her with unnatural good looks.  The men were easy sales.  They were likely signing a receipt for a balcony stateroom in the Baltic in two months with what little part of their brain was not imagining D naked.  The women D talked to spent much of the conversation imagining what they would look like naked if they looked like D.  She was, in short, a perfect selling machine, but even perfect selling machines need a break and she, with little fanfare, went on vacation.  So little fanfare, that I didn’t notice.

On ships often a room with go with a job, I am in the acupuncturist’s cabin and the cabin next to me is future cruise sales on one side and activity manager on the other.  With D gone, her replacement has taken over that cabin without me knowing there was any change, until that is, the music started.  Pumping house music.  Which seemed odd, D doesn’ t listen to music, she is quiet as anything, in fact she asked me once if I ever heard her talking on the phone to Mami and Papi.  Nope. 

Now house music.   It made sense to me when, at a meeting, the new future cruise sales person was introduced, we will call her B and D’s quick departure was explained the way you hear politicians explaining that their colleague needed to spend more time with family.  There was just a hint of that kind of corporate deception and double talk , but now we have B and B likes house music. 

Cabin walls are thin and this morning there was more than house music coming through the cabin walls.

In my world, the world of broken people, it is not unusual to hear that it took 20 minutes to get out of bed.  Now pain sounds are not all that unique, in fact they can often, out of context, be mistaken for sex sounds.   Slipped discs can produce a lot of grunting… not in two completely different registers… the pain theory has a few kinks to work out, but I can imagine that after 15 minutes of what sounded like a valiant effort that once in a seated position at the edge of the bed a person in pain might exclaim YES!! a couple of times and then be so pleased with the new upright position that she would also exclaim, RIGHT THERE  a couple of times.

So if I see B in the hall I should offer my services and see if maybe we can get here more comfortable so getting out of bed won’t be so much of a struggle tomorrow, when, God willing, I will get to sleep a little later.


February 2, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Dude – this cracked my shit up this morning – thank you so much for the laugh!!!!

    Comment by Leigh | February 2, 2011 | Reply

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